Do I really need / another habit like you

I'm not quite sure where I'm at at the moment. I'm neither here nor there. Today I installed my exhibition 'Long time no see' at Daine Singer. We're probably about 75% finished, I'm still waiting on some things coming back from the printers and will need to hang them. When I was walking around the gallery today looking at all my paintings on the wall - it felt strange as it seemed like just yesterday I was sitting at Daine's desk thinking about how I didn't know if I could pull this show together. But I did! It practically was just yesterday, too, I think it was about the 21st of August, just after art fair, when I considered the fact that I might not actually have enough time to do it. Now that I HAVE done it, I'm a bit shell shocked. And, feeling a little aimless as for the first time in like four months I don't have any paintings lined up to complete. They're all out of my room and I'm remembering how big my surroundings are when I don't have large canvases looming over my desk and bed.

This is the blurb that I wrote for the exhibition:

I seem to be growing more concerned with my perception of time. While it can be dull, thumping, and slow moving, equally I lament as it rapidly slips away. I collect objects, archive memories and document exchanges in vain attempts to paralyze and embrace the present whilst simultaneously wishing for future utopian paradises. It’s contradictory, wanting that which is always just out of reach and longing back to something I'm not even sure existed. The present is something I decorate with remnants of the past in an attempt to freeze frame vignettes of elation and lightness of being, while it is also something I curse and dismiss onward further into the unknown. I don't know how long a long time is.

* * *

I'm excited for my exhibition opening on Saturday (still deciding on what to wear!), but I've got a big week leading up to it. Progress with my book is heating up, and I'm desperately brainstorming trying to decide on a title. Titles are so important to me, I probably spend longer coming up with the titles for my paintings than I do painting them. I like abstract and elusive titles, and these are perfect for paintings and art works - however, for a book, I have to come to a sort of compromise in that the titles sort of signposts what the book is about but still has that kind of magically monumental presence that I look for in a name. What's in a name? Everything.