This is only one of many dichotomies I currently find myself navigating. I go between glamourous exhibition openings with gesticulating conversations, meeting person after person and immediately forgetting their names, to lonesome days in front of my paintings - the very paintings that get me to these exhibition openings - singing along to Stevie Nicks or specific sentimental songs that remind me of sentimental people. I am emotionally invested in something but unable to be physically invested. I go between thinking time passes all too quickly without the chance to savour a single second to thinking that it's a slow motion eternity. I want things that if I had them I wouldn't want them anymore.
I am in a brilliant, strange and glistening place at the moment. But it is unfamiliar. It is treacherous. I am making decisions and steering across uncharted territory in my work life, my love life, my social life (okay, all aspects of my life). I am getting older. The overarching protection bubble of youth no longer totally safeguards me and I feel exposed to the elements. I am asking questions that only I can know the answers to.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. It's a good thing. I am learning so much, feeling so much that I've never felt before - the good and the bad. My world seems so much wider now that I know my feelings can transgress oceans, now that I think of events in my life as pieces of a larger puzzle rather than a singular entity that exists outside of a greater plan.
I feel almost like a different person to the self I knew last year. I was so compromised, so enamored with the familiar. It was easy, but I that's exactly why I decided I didn't want it anymore. This year has been a self-exploratory year and it's been remarkable.
|Minna Gilligan, 'For you baby', 2014, collage.|
|The series of badges I designed for Melbourne Art Fair. I am doing a giveaway to win these on my Instagram! @minnagilligan|
|In my studio on Monday|
|Working at home today|
|Brodie and I at the Melbourne Writer's Festival opening party on Saturday night|
Thanks for reading as always X