Saturday, June 28, 2014

Play the way you feel it

My beanie and I
My ALL Knitwear beanie :)
My new tangerine coat from Savers 
Faux fur at Spotlight (By the way: does anyone know anywhere to buy really cheap faux fur in Melbourne?)
Snazzy but scary looking slippers at Savers 
Blanket pattern that I loved
Beautiful '50s Sci Fi novel
A great '60s book cover at Savers
Little earless bunny that I left at Savers and wish I didn't :(
I had a kind of good and kind of productive day today. I stayed close to home, my sister and I went to Spotlight and to Savers. I had to buy a whole bunch of stuff at Spotlight for the works I am making for my show, 'Almost Forever' at the Windsor Hotel in August. I also couldn't help buying a bunch of cute iron-on patches. I found the most brilliant coat at Savers - the tangerine coloured one I am wearing in the above photo. It is such a fine specimen, 1970's, a label called 'Virgo' made in Melbourne. Fully lined, and absolute mint condition! Plus it fits me so perfectly and the colour is super bright and happy. It cheered me up monumentally. The feeling of putting something on and it feeling like it was made for you, is so exciting. I can't wait to wear it out and about.

On Thursday night after work I was rather desperate for some sort of distraction from my round and round thoughts so I visited a happy place... a retail store. This one is a good one though, it's called Dagmar Rousset and they used to have a store in Gertrude Street, but now they have a store literally right across the road from my Studio in Collingwood. I finally got the chance to pop in and meet Julia who is the owner. My purchase was definitely a comfort one, an ALL Knitwear beanie, which I absolutely love. They're all different so I had lots of fun choosing my favourite one. I love the pom pom on mine with the little pink speckles!

After my purchase I went to meet up with my dear friend Georgie. She listened to me ramble on and on in similar style to my previous blog posts over a glass of wine or three. We also visited an opening and made a brief appearance at a farewell party, and then I headed home.

Friday morning felt very flat and I wasn't terribly interested in sitting at my desk all day at work, but, I put on my new beanie for the first time and headed out into the now very wintery weather to catch my train. That evening after work I met up with my other dear friend Georgia, and Georgie too, to again rant over wine about my feelings which by now Georgie has heard twice and perhaps three times if she's read my blog, so to her I'm definitely sounding like a broken record, but being the true friend she is, never even let on. :)

I wouldn't have wanted to have spent the past two nights with anyone else. Georgie and Georgia are the smartest and most brilliant friends, and I am super glad that they are in my life. They validate my feelings and decisions, listen to me go on and on and on, are smart (I know I already said that, but just reiterating), beautiful, successful and funny. When I am with them I feel a more confident person. I feel like a smart person. I've really felt grateful for their presence the past couple of nights, and I'm not just saying that because I know they read my blog! ha ha. Hi guys.

Georgia said something to me last night that I've probably misquoted but it was like "You have so much power. You are more powerful than you know" and it really made me swell up inside in a good way. When someone you are close to, who's opinion you trust unconditionally, tells you something like that, it's hard not to believe it. I needed that lift and really appreciated it. I only hope I am as helpful and valuable as a friend to them, even though I never feel that I have a speck of wisdom despite having two sets of wisdom teeth in my mouth (true story).

Tomorrow is going to be another day of thriftin' (I'm gonna go to the Camberwell market) and then working on my paintings. I've been very lonely working on my paintings from home, I don't know when this loneliness crept in but it has, and it's rather unusual for me as pretty much for my whole life I've arranged my schedule in weird ways for absolute maximum alone time. This year I really have made an effort on the social front, and I'm getting so much better at it that I'm actually occasionally enjoying it. Again, hopefully moving into my studio at Gertrude Contemporary will help alleviate some of this.

I feel like I'm growing up (will I just be 'grown' already!?) just that little bit more lately, and am looking for that little bit more in my life. To be honest I don't even really know what form that may come in. I used to think I could get everything I would ever need from my artwork, but now, I'm not so sure - I think about that kind of existence now and know it would definitely be a very sad and lonesome one. People tend to answer this question of "Something's missing..." with the addition of a significant other, but I'm not sure it's that simple. All I know is I've got so much work to do and these rather abstract and nonsensical thoughts are most definitely not constructive in putting paint to canvas! Curse my forever ticking mind. I'm gonna let these thoughts sail away and get really into watching my new favourite show 'Catfish'. Ha. It's brilliant I swear!

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