Sunday, January 12, 2014

Lotta Love

These glasses make it so easy to look sassy. This was me on Friday before I went to pick up my invitations for my exhibition at Tcb, and then I went to an exhibition opening. I felt really awkward and actually not sassy at all on Friday night, like my attempts at chatting and small talk was really labored or something. You know when you feel like you are really uninteresting and lackluster and don't make funny jokes. I'm usually not too bad at small talk and at times I can quite enjoy it if the encounter doesn't drag on too long until you're not at all fascinated with the other person any more. I'm a big fan of the George Costanza method of 'leaving on a high note' like extracting yourself from the situation before you say something stupid or ruin the enigma or whatever. Leave before the awkward silence even has a chance to manifest. This is strictly with acquaintances and people I've just met of course - at like a gallery opening for example, I don't like run away if I'm out for lunch with a friend or whatever.  But with small talk, I always want to talk to someone more if they know when to stop talking, if that makes sense. I always feel so high after a good small talk encounter with a good joke and tinge of sarcasm and a polite departure. Brilliant.

Anyway off on a tangent now but back to me moping yeah I actually hadn't felt that: "Oh no I'm really boring and stupid and no-one wants to talk to me" feeling in ages, and it wasn't cool! I mean it's not like I was eating off a lunch tray on my lap while sitting in a toilet stall or anything, but my friends all seemed to have purposes at the gallery cause they like work there or were helping out and that was totally fine, but a few times I like turned around and was like "oh yeah, I'm on my own" you know. I actually do like art openings purely because if you are that person you can just pretend to be really fascinated with the art or read the room sheet or whatever, you can make yourself look really busy or mysterious. That's what I did and it really wasn't even bad, but I was just conscious of that feeling I guess because I hadn't felt it in ages! That just goes to show that I've been in a bit of a comfort zone for a while too. Also let's be honest over Christmas time I hardly socialized at all so it takes a little while to get back in the swing of things.

If anything these experiences are good for me because it's like sink or swim you know and it proves that I am not hiding in my bedroom drawing the nights away alone, and truly I'm not saying it was a bad evening, but it was just an "Oh yeah" moment when I remembered how I would feel like that really often back in the old days. I guess everyone has times when that awkward teen insecurity thing resurfaces and that's okay because you know it's only temporary and dependent on the people you are/are not around, the mood you're in, the place you're at etc. It's not a permanent personality trait for me so phew y'all!

Here is the scanned invitation for my upcoming show at Tcb with all the info. I've been working on paintings all weekend!

And here's a couple of other pictures of stuffs

Also, way above here is the 'Free to be you and me' thing I made, you know when you get like a really punchy phrase stuck in your head? I can't get this one out so had to make something with it. This might not be the last time I use it either!

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