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My illustration for Tavi's interview with Sofia Coppola on Rookie Mag! |
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Hello, is it me you're looking for? |
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Nicole Breedon at Chapter House Lane |
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Orchids for Bree |
Right now I am actually asleep I think, because I am so tired. Last night Louis showed me his favourite movie ever and I fell asleep so I felt bad because I should have stayed awake through the end. I think I feel exhausted because I feel like I have not had any like 'alone time' in a really long time and I really hate not having alone time but then I feel like I am a bad person for feeling like that. I feel different around people than I do when I am by myself. This is strange because I am only just realizing that this is not normal? I guess I spent a lot of my teen time alone, which set a precedent for my young adulthood. Is it okay to want to be alone for a large majority of my time? Does it make me a bad person? Is it detrimental to who I am and who I want to be?
I wonder what would happen if I replied to all my emails immediately? I would probably have much less un-read message anxiety when logging into my account. I think my thing with 'alone time' has something to do with leaving emails for days at a time. I just need to have some alone time, with them.
If I was prompt and loose with my communication would I get more things done, would more opportunities arise? If I didn't have to have my alone time how many more relationships would I have had, how many more people would I have loved and perhaps lost. Would I be happy or sad. Would I feel more profoundly connected with those around me? I can only ever give so much before I stop. I've never gone over that precipice. I told you I was tired. Or asleep, whatever. This makes profound sense to a delirious me right now. I ain't winging, just wondering, by the way. Things are good because I am busy, but I always do crave being exactly where I am now, in a space where I'm probably the least alone person ever, but I can write as if I'm the only person in the world.
It is most definitely super ok to need time by yourself! I am the same. You should really take a moment to watch this TED talk about the value of introverts. It changed my life, no kidding! I spent my whole life feeling like there was something wrong with me for being introverted, i.e enjoying alone time. Definitely not the case! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4
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