The journey home is long, but lately it seems to be getting longer. I think this is a sign of me finally loosening my hold even just slightly on my childish need to return 'back to the nest', albeit slowly - I don't think I'm needing that security as much anymore, I hope I'm not. I had lots of thoughts purring around my mind on the what seemed like 14 hour trip home, but I didn't have my notebook or anything so I had to write in the blank spaces of an old newspaper I found on the seat next to me. As usual at the time my prose was profound but reading it now seems a little melodramatic - the gist was something along the lines of that I am the root of all problems I have connecting with others because of my inability to give that last little bit away or something. I always keep the most important thing closest to me. No it still sounds melodramatic and actually also stupid but that don't mean it's not true. Anyway I had a lovely night tonight but I can't help but wish I flipped the coin the other way and took the first step to letting that little bit go, it would be like a big exhale, a real embrace. SIGH. This sounds so dumb. In other news I am going to NEW YORK CITY for a rendezvous of sorts at the end of May. Howdya like THAT!