Tuesday, April 10, 2012
"What are you running for?" "Love."
My new shoes came in the mail today. I can guarantee you that when wearing them in real life I will trip/fall and look like the klutz that I am. I'm just working on a funny anecdote to deflect the embarrassment when this happens.
In other news, I was in an Op Shop today and was looking at the books, and I found an old Salvador Dali diary from 1999 that initially appeared blank. I was flicking through thinking about buying it to cut out the Dali pictures when I came across pages disparately and manically filled with black inky writing. As I read, an intensely personal story unfolded, from an emotionally paralyzing breakup to meeting the ex-girlfriend (referred to as 'L') again for coffee when she had a new boyfriend - and heartbreakingly how she broke the news to our dear diary writer that she was pregnant. He describes "Looking into L's eyes and having her look back, wondering if there still something there..." "I can't think of her and him together without crying, the thought of them making love is enough to kill me..". He even calculated the day that the then unborn child must have been conceived and marked the date in the diary with a big X. It was so full on. I felt lots of things while reading this. I felt guilty, like I would if I had deliberately gone behind this guys back to read this - I felt so sad because of it's totally tragic nature, unfortunately I felt empathy... pity... It was terrible.
I didn't buy this book because of these feelings. Also, I didn't want this kind of really negative object in my environment or something. There was a lot of bad energy in that book. As I do, I wondered about this man all day. I wondered if he loved again, if he and 'L' ever got back together, what the outcome of this real love story was - because I feel it might offer me some sort (any sort) of profound truth.