Tuesday, April 10, 2012

"What are you running for?" "Love."





My new shoes came in the mail today. I can guarantee you that when wearing them in real life I will trip/fall and look like the klutz that I am. I'm just working on a funny anecdote to deflect the embarrassment when this happens.

In other news, I was in an Op Shop today and was looking at the books, and I found an old Salvador Dali diary from 1999 that initially appeared blank. I was flicking through thinking about buying it to cut out the Dali pictures when I came across pages disparately and manically filled with black inky writing. As I read, an intensely personal story unfolded, from an emotionally paralyzing breakup to meeting the ex-girlfriend (referred to as 'L') again for coffee when she had a new boyfriend - and heartbreakingly how she broke the news to our dear diary writer that she was pregnant. He describes "Looking into L's eyes and having her look back, wondering if there still something there..." "I can't think of her and him together without crying, the thought of them making love is enough to kill me..". He even calculated the day that the then unborn child must have been conceived and marked the date in the diary with a big X. It was so full on. I felt lots of things while reading this. I felt guilty, like I would if I had deliberately gone behind this guys back to read this - I felt so sad because of it's totally tragic nature, unfortunately I felt empathy... pity... It was terrible.

I didn't buy this book because of these feelings. Also, I didn't want this kind of really negative object in my environment or something. There was a lot of bad energy in that book. As I do, I wondered about this man all day. I wondered if he loved again, if he and 'L' ever got back together, what the outcome of this real love story was - because I feel it might offer me some sort (any sort) of profound truth.

7 comments:

  1. mm... i guess i understand how you feel, but i would probably have bought it. i love collecting all these kinds of bits and bobs, the more mysterious and story prone, the better! as for your shoes, they look amazing! and don't worry, you'll get the hang of walking in them soon enough, i'm sure!

    munchmecat.blogspot.com

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    1. I know, I actually surprised myself when I didn't buy it! I have a lot of stuff like that, and I sort of thought maybe it was better to let this one float away rather than having it in my life or something... and yes, been practicing in my shoes! Thank you for your faith in my walking ability !! :) :) xoxox Minna

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  2. Where did you get those shoes? Are they Jeffrey Campbells?

    Sometimes the most profound truth is the most tragic.. Even though I now want to know too. Is it more tragic that I want to know to satiate my need for a happy ending? There's something troubling about a single, sad snapshot of someone's life with no resolution in sight. I think that's why it's so cringe-y but satisfying to read your own diary.. You know how it ends, or carries on anyway.

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    1. Hi Jeanette!
      Thanks for such a lovely comment. You are correct of course, this snapshot was indeed troubling because of its isolation - I think that's why paintings and songs can be sort of similar - they are this fleeting emotion, not always with a satisfying or obvious conclusion, or they can even be entirely absent of a conclusion at all..xxxx Minna

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  3. Those shoes are too die from Where did you get them? They are exactly like the Salvatore ferragamo originals. I'm soooooo jealous!!!!!

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    1. Hi Celia! The shoes are Jeffrey Campbell! I got them for like $100 on Ebay. I had to pay about $50 in shipping to Australia though! Here is the link to them my dear!!: http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/220949952744?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1497.l2649#ht_975wt_1187

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  4. Those shoes are great! I thought about getting them but then came to the conclusion that I'd probably injure myself or others if I ever wore them!
    Wow, that's kinda heart-breaking. I don't think I'd buy it either, but I'd also probably regret it forever too.
    Also, I'd just like to say that you seem generally awesome, and I want to come over to Melbourne again and be your friend (in the least creepy way!). Melbourne is great, and has amazing shopping, comparatively at least.

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