Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Somewhere I have never travelled

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

e.e cummings

After not writing for a few days I have a lot of things to say but I'm not altogether sure what they are. Right now I'm waiting for the 'late' train home that I've taken to catching this week, it's been nice to feel slightly more productive socially rather than productive when it comes to making work. I generally gravitate towards the latter because it doesn't involve me making conversation that I'm convinced is insipid and boring the person on the receiving end. My own company is so incredibly familiar which is something that attracts me, much to my detriment.

In light of this I feel mildly empowered because I am flying to Perth this weekend which again tears me away from making work to perhaps experience something different (for lack of a more adequate word). I organized the whole thing and booked the flights and paid for them myself and booked the accommodation and paid for it myself so I feel really in control of my life and stuff. It's going to be fun because I am in an exhibition at the Perth Institute of Contemporary Art (PICA) and I am going there for the opening and a party and to have fun and throw the T.V in the hotel out of the window and take a photo of the mini bar and send it to my friend Cheralyn. I can't wait to go on a plane either because I haven't been on one in ages and I just love airline food because it's so neat in its packaging and stuff and I'm totally going to watch a movie on the plane which will be so fun.

Today I did this weird thing where I 'modeled' for this lady and got to be really silly amongst draped fabric and stuff and fluff my hair and stare off into the distance. This earned me my spending money for my Perth trip because I'm flat broke after doing all that independent stuff like paying for flights and accommodation. As my goin' home train approached the platform I stood right on the edge of the tracks and let the wind from the tunnel blow my hair which I just love doing because you feel like you're in a movie, especially if you stare off into the distance and catch your reflection in the train windows and are listening to Edith Piaf or something.

From this I started thinking about how I'm in love with entertaining romantic notions largely in my mind - like leavin' on a jet plane or spending all your money or the seventies or never going home or staying out all night and not doing your work and partying and taking really long train trips to nowhere but there's something there that grounds me from that and keeps them as only notions rather than a lifestyle or reality and that is my unfading longing to make work. It's what keeps me home on the weekend, what keeps me quiet, what keeps me somewhat contented with my own company, what keeps me single. It keeps me looking down and in rather than up and out. I do not resent this, I lavish in it as you can tell from this entire post - but am conscious of its 'hold' - if you will entertain me enough to take that seriously... This weekend though, I AM leaving on a jet plane, if you will believe, hallelujah praise the Lord, get down brother! And I'm going to relax, and it's going to be fun and I won't speculate further.


1 comment:

  1. I've been seeing your work on rookie for a while, but never heard your "voice" so to speak so stumbling on your blog is a treat! I too love staying in and making things for myself and being generally anti-social. I like what you said about having all these romantic notions in your mind; I always have an idea of how things should look and feel and if they come true it doesn't seem nearly as good.