Gramma says the flags are waving for me

Throughout the past week I've been listening almost exclusively to Lana Del Rey. I feel like this is regarded as totally lame in the blogger/tumblr world but I don't care. I don't care if she's just a studio concept and can't sing live and if her lips are real or fake or whatever, but she or her manager or whoever has made this music that I've slowly begun to enjoy. I would describe it in one word as addictive. (May be filled with subliminal messages or something but I don't care) It's also seductive, poppy, and weak at times which I kind of enjoy. Some of the lyrics are fun and I like how she has this undertone that's acknowledging her good looks and not apologizing for them. You go girl!

Anyway I listened to some of her music to relax before the BIG OPENING the other night, and it sort of worked. I had the best time possible for being incredibly anxious and stressed having to be 'on' the whole night and stuff plus being exhausted after a week (albeit a good week) of install. It was really great though. There were SO MANY people and I think I finally convinced my parents that I DO actually have friends and lots of them at that. Well enough to fill Rearview, anyway. So that was really nice. I just always get so pathetically grateful that people actually come to these things, I love you all and hope you enjoyed the show and sorry if I said "WOW THANKS FOR COMING" about 20 times. I will post photos soonish. The show is on for 3 weeks open from Wednesday - Saturday 12 - 6pm.

When I finally stumbled home Saturday evening, I was so so so utterly exhausted, more than I'd ever been before. And emotional, and still stressed because I knew when I got home there'd be about 20 emails in my inbox and about 20 million things for me to do. But I just couldn't do them, and for the first time in my life I didn't do them. At 7.00pm I went to sleep and didn't wake up until 7 this morning. A perfect 12 hour sleep still in my clothes and with my lipstick printed on my pillow. Then I went to work.

I ended up being really reflective this weekend about my life and existence and stuff. I decided that I'm never going to dye my hair or compromise my fierce independence and tendency to be a little manic/inarticulate just to have someone to hold hands with. That's the way it's going to be, and as my ah.. 'muse' (don't tell everyone..) Lana Dey Rey sings:

"I WANNA BE THE WHOLE WORLD'S GIRL GRAMMA, I WANNA BE THE WHOLE WORLD'S GIRL".

Me and my Mama

My 'Gramma'