Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I have a rather large jealous streak, and it's incredibly unattractive. It's unattractive because jealously reeks of insecurity. I am resentful of my envy that rears its ugly head in the presence of beautiful, smart, confident, popular, got-it-all girls of which there are many at VCA. I resent these feelings because as women we're supposed to be part of a 'sisterhood', where we cast off the shackles of yesterday and march shoulder to shoulder into the fray... (Well done, Sister Suffragette? Anyone?)
Jealousy is so unfounded, and interestingly it's totally not about the person you're jealous of, either. It's entirely descended from you and your insecurities. Most of the time those I'm jealous of are only people observed from a distance, a friend of a friend or an absolutely drop dead gorgeous girl everyone looks at as she enters the room. My jealousies are mostly materialistic, and anything not of that persuasion are usually almost entirely fabricated in my head. Jealously is irrational, a close relation to paranoia and anxiety - it causes you to jump to conclusions, to be entirely convinced of your paleness in comparison to the threat.
Most of the time one has nothing to be jealous about. It's merely a circular outlet for our insecurities that can keep them entertained for ever. I always think though, if I just stopped being green with envy and fathomed enough confidence in myself to hold my head as high as the got-it-all girls, I'd have nothing to be jealous about, because I'd be one of them. If you are jealous then no-one's going to be jealous of you, right?