The things I do for the things I buy borders on ridiculous. I bought this huge Marilyn Monroe picture at Savers and basically broke my arms lugging it around, but despite the pain I'm pretty pleased with it. It's kind of weird having Marilyn staring at me while I'm in bed though.
Anyway last night I did something unusual, I went out clubbing with my friends from high school, who I haven't seen in a long time. I got 'dressed up' like I used to, picking a plain-ish dress and attempting to have perfect hair. It was nice, but I just can't help feel like I'm quite conspicuous among the tanned, blonde good looking girls wearing tight clothes and stilettos.
I really tried to blend in with my 'appearance' or whatever, but I still felt like I looked stupid or something even though I acted reasonably normal, reluctantly sipping on a Vodka Cruiser like the good olds days. It sounds kind of egocentric or pretentious or something but even though I was a part of that life during high school I always knew I wanted something different like to dance around the kitchen at the Manor cooking spaghetti bolognese.
I kind of want the 'best of both worlds' (Hannah Montana reference, sorry) and have my good friends from high school come to a VCA party and dance around with me to The Zombies or whatever but I know that it's not gonna happen, so I've still got to participate in these outings every so often. It's not too bad, either.
I think it's good for me to keep in touch with normality, because it's kind of a reality check or something. You don't have to ponder the meaning of life when you're doing your hair to go to some stupid club. It is a simple existence not filled with any truly meaningful exchanges but I kind of like that. It's sort of like living on the surface where you don't feel the full extent of sadness or not being satisfied because you don't realize you're not. I like the idea of that, and I should try to do it more often.